Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
