he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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