based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
