I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
