They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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