You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
