need another drink. this is the easiest way
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
