K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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