do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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