he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
