We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
