The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
