So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
