wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
