hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
