That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
