Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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