and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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