Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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