its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even my vagina gasped.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
