her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
