Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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