I think i peed on brittanys purse
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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