Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
