I just pynch a tree in the face
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
