I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
