that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
