Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
