my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
