I got her a Nickelback box set.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
