This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
