my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
