i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
