i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize