Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
