Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's just like the Real World with babies
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
