SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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