is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
