Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
