I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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