Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
