Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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