Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
