Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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