Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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