She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
