if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
