She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
