Can i not drive my cunt home
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
