well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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