grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
